I have been praying a lot to the Lord in how to do “this post”. It has been 6 years since being reborn/baptized in the Holy Spirit/rebuked by Jesus/seeing a glimpse of heaven.

March 29, 2019 : Danielle was as low as she could get. Having crazy intrusive thoughts – not knowing about ‘spiritual warfare’. In a bedroom, I did a little negotiating with God before I was really thinking to end my life. “God, if you are real…I’m going to REALLY need you to show up right now…..” then I said “Jesus I can’t do this anymore!!!!!” and what happened — well, my son said it just fine the other day it was an “out of this world” experience.

Danielle went to private Christian School since kindergarten. I had memorized scriptures & I loved Jesus. I also loved others. But, ya know, in truth–my heart never really believed. I had so many around me like “why believe in God, he’s not real.” When going through hard times I’d pray, but I wouldn’t pray in the “good times”. (Jesus is not a “genie “by the way.) I would cling to scripture at times, but deep down, I didn’t believe it for myself nor did I have any desire to sit and read it in the fullness to try and understand.

At 8 years old I first tried to kill myself with 11 aspirin. After entering public school in 8th grade, I lost my virginity to being raped. I started cutting- I started drinking and doing drugs to cover up the pain. I just really didn’t think I could ever be “worthy” of God again since I was a sinner. I had this really delusional understanding of Jesus. I loved Him, but I really didn’t believe He loved me. I wasn’t aware of the verse : “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Fast forward many years, many mistakes, many crying out to God in ugly tears for mistakes and pains and sufferings….i found myself broken, under intense mental psychosis. I had text many of my “friends” if they would just come sit with me because I was starting to scare myself, but they didn’t. I made them too nervous to even come sit with me. So, I started to go to Centerstone because I was going to try medication…again. I was frustrated. Hopeless. Doing the same patterns and getting the same empty results. I tell people—if there was sand in that house, I would have paced a 6 foot grave for myself. And ..perhaps I did. Because calling on the name of Jesus – something beyond my understanding happened. I heard “you WERE faithless.” I started crying, but the voice was so firm, yet gentle—and every single cell in my body was exploding. Tears and laughter flowed. I just kept saying “it’s by the grace of God…by the grace of God!!!” From the top of my head, to the bottom of my toes I felt like I combusted into a million delightful pieces of a sinner and come back together a whole new creation.

Today, people might not understand why I am “so much Jesus” but if you knew the path that He took me through to breathe today…alive. Being able to glorify His name and share a bit of hope in the chaos—SEND ME, Lord.

The photos below show a 3 day then 5 day difference in February – March.

You can’t tell me that God is not real. He is indescribable, but we try to describe Him. He is far more glorious than our finite carnal brains can comprehend.

I just want others to see Him for themselves.

Faith as a mustard seed…hold it tight…that is all this one had for many years, but His timing was perfect.

Lord, may you forever be glorified. Holy, Holy, Holy is your face and throne. Your Kingdom come. Your will be done

3 Days Later

5 days later

and 7 days later (below)